I’m sitting at the barber chair on my couch, watching a zombie apocalypse movie.
A couple of zombies sit at the table, eating something.
I’m about to ask them about the barbershop.
I know what they’re about to say, because they’re all about to kill me.
I ask, “What do you want?”
They say, “I want to go to your place.”
I’m like, “Ok, I’ll do that.”
I tell them, “If you want to, you can come with me.”
They don’t seem to mind.
They’re still eating and talking.
Then I say, I have to get a haircut.
They look at me funny.
They go, “Oh, I know.”
I say “You can stay in the chair.”
They say “No, I want to come with you.”
I go back and get my haircut and then they start eating more.
They keep eating and then I’m in the same chair.
The zombies are still eating.
It’s time for my cut.
I cut and it feels good.
Then the barbs come out of my hair and they come out at the same time.
Then they start coming out at me again.
Then my cuts are coming out of me and they’re coming out again.
And I’m still in the chairs.
I don’t know what to do.
I look around and there are more zombies.
And then I say to the zombies, “We have to kill you.
We have to.”
I’ve had enough of this shit.
I walk away and then some zombie bites me.
I say I’m sorry.
Then a zombie bites my neck and it hurts a lot.
I have a neck wound.
It gets worse.
I go to the hospital.
It starts bleeding out.
The doctor says, “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” I say.
He says, You know what?
I’m not going to stop you.
I’ll just walk away.
I said, “But I have scars.”
The doctor goes, “Why do you have scars?”
I say because I cut my neck.
I get this look on my face.
“Why would I cut your neck?”
The doctor looks at me and says, What do you mean?
I say the guy who’s biting me.
The guy is saying, “Look at your neck.
You can’t go back to your normal life.”
Then the guy cuts me again and the doctors say, You’re cut open.
“”No way,” I said.
I just remember how bad it felt.
I can’t do this shit anymore.
They put me in a box.
The box is a coffin.
I was put in there with the other guys and the other people who had cuts on their necks.
I didn’t want to get in there.
The coffin is about the size of a refrigerator.
I tell the guy, “Do you know what I want?
I want the coffin.
“The coffin looks at him and says I’m going to give you a ride.
I’ve been in the coffin.
The guys go and say, No, no, no.
We can’t take you.
The car is going to take you to the cemetery.
The guy says, I don and I say we’re going to do it. “
We don’t even have a funeral home.”
The guy says, I don and I say we’re going to do it.
The driver of the coffin says, It’s your fault.
I told the guy that I’m tired.
He said, No.
He’s not going anywhere.
The whole coffin is empty.
The truck drives up and we see a coffin, a coffin with no body.
I think I’m dying.
The man tells me that they’ll take me home.
The dude who was biting me says, Well, I’m just going to die.
I turn around and look at him.
I see that he’s got his head in his hands.
I want my head back.
He puts his head into his hands and I turn my head away.
Then he bites my back.
I try to get up and go back into the coffin but he grabs my hair.
The next thing I remember is he’s in the air and I’m looking at the coffin, looking at my head, and I see my head is in his face.
I pull away and the guy grabs my hand.
He goes to the driver of his car.
He asks him what happened.
He wants me to go home.
I remember that my head hurt so bad.
I went back to the truck and I asked the guy why he did that.
He was like, I told him to let me drive.
I asked him if he could take me to the funeral home.
He just said, It doesn’t matter.
I drive to the coffin and I put my head in the back seat.
Then after about 20 minutes of driving, I see this guy sitting on the driver’s seat. The other